What can I do to inspire a 15 year old child to chase her dreams?
christina rose asked:
This is a very important question to me. I’ve been tutoring a high school student, who is now 15, for about a year now. We’ve grown to really care about each other, and I love her a lot. We have a good relationship, and I tutor her often, yet she still feels stupid and has very poor grades. I think that she has a lot of potential and is very capable in this world. At this point, she says she wants to become a chef. Although I think it’s important to encourage her interest in becoming a chef as well, my question here is how to inspire her IN GENERAL…she hangs out with what seems to be a “bad” crowd, and I can definitely see her getting into alcohol and maybe even drugs very soon (as of yet, I don’t think she drinks or has tried drugs, but many of her friends have). What can I do to help her realize how much potential she has? I don’t think she will ever become a great student, but I want her to accept this about herself and realize all the potential she DOES have-loving,loyal,strong..
In saying that I want her to accept that she may not be the best student and to realize the potential she does have, I mean this: I want her to do her best. I want her to earn the best grades she can. I want her to accept that C’s are ok. She’s said numerous times that she’s stupid, and I know that she thinks this about herself (in terms of academics, at least). She gets so stressed and overwhelmed about school, and doesn’t believe in herself, and deals with this by just giving up. I know that she can do better (she’s gotten Ds and Fs on a number of occasions). I want her to understand that doing her best is all that matters, and to accept that she has trouble in school but not get discouraged by this and just drop out mentally. I want her to understand that when she tells herself that she’s stupid, this is her “inner demon,” in a sense, trying to keep her from reaching her full potential. I just want her to understand that even tho she may never be a model student, she has everything
she needs within herself to be a healthy, happy, and successful person. Does that clear things up?
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Filed Under Adolescent |
Tagged With Alcohol, Crowd, Dreams
Comments
5 Responses to “What can I do to inspire a 15 year old child to chase her dreams?”
Dreams should not be chased. They should be welcomed. Why would you want her to chase them? Do you secretly despise her? Are you envious of her youth? Please, leave her alone. Let her do what she wants. Don’t teach her to chase her dreams!
Just let her know that if she makes the right choices in life she will become successful and that you are there to back her up in her dreams.
Your last sentence sums it up. If you dont feel that she has the potentional how can you be positive in relating to her? Ask her about her home life, is there trouble? Teach her that relationships should enhance her life, not hold her back. And teach her to know the difference between positive and negative relationships. Drugs and alcohol are a cry for help. They are a sign of low self esteem. She is looking for something outside that she cannot find within herself. Let her know that these things will hold her back and anyone she hangs around with doing these things will hold her back. Encourage her to set her own goals. Ask her what interests her. Steer her toward schools that would help her excel in reaching those goals. Also impress upon her the importance of graduating from high school and continue to tutor her in the subjects she’s having trouble in. But, again, it seems that you’ve given up on her. That will give her permission to give up on herself. If you don’t believe in her then she needs to find another tutor who will.
How kind of you to tutor this girl, and to care about her. She doesn’t know yet that school isn’t everything, that there is so much more to life than schoolwork and grades. Plenty of people are not “book smart” but do very very well in life. I like the idea the earlier writer had about both of you taking a course in being a chef–that could get her started in actually working toward being a chef. And you would no doubt become a better cook as a consequence of the course too! (again proving my point that anyone who volunteers always comes away from the experience far richer than they were before) Anyway, one step at a time, just get her going on one goal and when she accomplishes some progress in that goal, that will improve her self-image and help her stay away from bad influences. I guess it is too late to get her in sports? Playing sports for a while helps adolescent girls avoid bad influences and premarital sex at an early age.
Good luck, and aren’t you kind to be so concerned!
She is not a CHILD just to correct you, so PLEASE don’t treat her like one! Teens HATE it when people do that!